Tag Archives: historical randomness

Zambia vs the Martians: The Strange Story of a Forgotten Space Programme

In celebration of Zambia’s Independence Day, here’s a post I wrote a while back about one of the strangest space programmes in history…

 

Ahh, thank you Library Angel. I was only thinking yesterday that I haven’t written a Historical Randomness post for ages; this morning I update my iPod’s news feeds (because I don’t do anything as predictable as listen to music on my iPod) and there, on Discovery’s feed is the most historically random story I’ve come across in a long time. Because, ladies and gentlemen, Zambia was once about to launch a manned mission to Mars.

Well, when I say “Zambia”, I mean “a Zambian science teacher”, and when I say “about to”, I mean “was never going to”. It seems a bit churlish to point this out, because it’s such a cool story, but this isn’t a story about a great, lost technological advancement buried in the West’s ignorance of African history, this is the story of an enthusiastic amateur, two cats and a bunch of horny potential astronauts.

The background: in 1962, African nationalist parties won Rhodesia’s elections and voted for the secession of Northern Rhodesia; two years later, on 24 October 1964, the Republic of Zambia was born. Cue much celebration, but all this partying was, for one new Zambian, a distraction from the country’s real priority – Edward Makuka Nkoloso was going to get a spacecraft to Mars by 1965, dammit. Even Time magazine noted this ambition in their coverage of the independence celebrations.

This was the sixties, of course, and space was the new frontier – Stephen King has written of a childhood memory of how the adults around him freaked out at the news that Russia had launched Sputnik, and Wernher von Braun was now using the technology used by the Nazis to bomb London in the service of America’s own Saturn programme. In 1962, JFK delivered a speech at Rice Stadium, Texas, pledging to carry out a successful round trip to the Moon by the end of the decade. It was the start of the Space Race between the USA and the Soviet Union, but in Nkoloso’s mind they were also rans, trying to steal his own secrets of space travel for their own ends. After all, they just wanted to carry out small potatoes projects like getting to the Moon by 1970; he had the far more ambitious target of landing a crew on Mars by 1965 (he outlined his aims in this editorial).

Nkoloso was a school science teacher in a country where just 0.002% of the population had a degree. Establishing a secret HQ outside the capital Lusaka, Nkoloso’s space pioneers were 11 men, one 16-year old girl, a Christian missionary and two cats. Trained by swinging off ropes, rolling down hills in oil drums and walking on their hands (and yes, footage of this has made it to Youtube, albeit complete with slappable presenters), the project was derailled by the fact that the men were more interested in copping off with the girl, and things kinda fell apart when she left the project after getting pregnant.

Despite the space programme still being in its relative post-war infancy, the idea of getting to Mars wasn’t all that out-there. The aforementioned von Braun had become the chief populiser of space exploration and in 1952 he published The Mars Project, outling his ideas for a manned mission to the red planet. Remember, this is Mars we’re talking about, and the idea that it might be inhabited has long maintained a hold on the imagination, at least since Percival Lowell popularised the idea in the 1890s that Mars was covered in artificial canals (an extension of astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli’s view that the planet was covered in channels, as opposed to canals built by Martians – blame translation from the Italian). Science fiction also built on the idea that we could be invaded by our nearest astronomical neighbour – the variois tellings of The War of the Worlds is probably the best example of this.

Nkoloso went along with the life on Mars theory, believing it to be inhabited by a primative culture – hence the inclusion of a missionary in his crew, although they vowed not to force Christianity on the natives (it’s interesting to put this approach to First Contact in the context of a country that had only just emerged from colonial rule by Britain – the colonised looking to become the colonisers, maybe, whilst not making the mistakes of the past? It’s not like HG Wells didn’t draw a link between his Martian invasion and European imperialism).

At any rate, the Zambian space programme (which, I should add, wasn’t sanctioned by the government, unsurprisingly) never took off; UNESCO wasn’t keen to stump up the £7 million worth of funding Nkoloso requested from them (although it would have been a bargain compared to the Apollo programme’s $25.4 billion); they were more interested in setting up CERN (the organisation responsible for the World Wide Web and the Large Hadron Collider) and moving the Abu Simbel temple to prevent it from being flooded by the Nile). The project, such as it was, died a death and Nkoloso went on to become president of the Ndola Ex-Servicemen’s Association.

It would be easy to laugh at the whole thing, and it is faintly farcical (although it would make a fantastic film, and someone should look into it – Film Zambia?), but perhaps it’s an example of the potency of two Big Ideas – this article links it to the power space exploration has over the human imagination, and I think there’s definitely something in that, but I guess there’s also something attractive about the opportunity for the little guy, however deluded, to stand up to the big dogs, even in the shadow of colonialism and Cold War superpower posturing. After all, the US may be the only country to have sent someone to a neighbouring celestial body, but Nkoloso shows us we don’t have to believe they’re the only ones who can do it.

So when the first Zambian makes it into space, he or she should spare a thought for Edward Nkoloso and his visions of Mars. The universe is vaster than we make it, and there’s always room for bigger dreams.

Escaped Cobra Terrorises New York!!!

The news that an escaped cobra may be on the prowl in the Bronx reminded me of this story about the 1874 Central Park Zoo Escape. Two major differences – unlike the cobra, none of the Central Park animals were on Twitter, and, also unlike the cobra, the 18– escape didn’t actually happen – it was actually a hoax published by the New York Herald. All of which is just a cheap way of me linking to an old post I wrote about famous hoaxes…

Historical Randomness #14: King Anthony

I’ve posted a couple of times before about Joshua Norton, the self-proclaimed Emperor of the United States. Imagine my surprise when I learned from Justin Pollard’s Secret Britainthat Britain had its own equivalant, especially when it turned out that he made his presence felt mainly in the Bull Ring, Birmingham, and thus not a million miles away from me.

Anthony William Hall claimed to be the descendent of Henry VIII and Anne Boelyn’s son, which was something of a rewrite of history (rendering every monarch from Elizabeth I illegitimate), and so he declared himself King Anthony, sending out missives insisting that George V quit and that authority over the US be returned to Britain. It was never going to happen, of course, but it made King Anthony a bit of a celebrity, something he milked by delivering over 2,000 speeches in the Bull Ring and by selling his own currency (something Norton also did, so I’m wondering if there was an inspiration somewhere along the line).

It’s not as good a story as Norton’s; instead of dying a folk hero, King Anthony seemed to realise that a few too many important people wanted him committed (generally for being an embarrasment to the Establishment) and quietly retired, dying in 1947. Emperor Norton is still my favourite fake monarch, but it’s kinda cool having a local pretender to the throne.

By the way, did I mention that I’m descended from Ethelred the Unready? That’s why I’m always trying not to be late…

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

God Speed, You Crazy Emperor

It’s turning into a week for posts about history’s eccentrics. A few days ago I got mildly obsessed with a propsed Zambian mission to Mars; today I discover it’s the anniversary of one of my favourite historical figures.

I’ve written about Joshua Norton before, so I’ll just repost that rather than reinvent the wheel. And then I think I’ll go download Neil Gaiman’s story about him, in tribute. The world can seem corporate and uninspired at times; we need more eccentrics to lead the fight against that malaise.

A hundred and thirty-one years ago this coming Monday, 30,000 people lined the streets of San Francisco to pay their final respects to Joshua Norton, first (and last) Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. A two-mile cortege made its way to the Masonic Cemetery as residents from across the social spectrum honoured one of history’s great eccentrics.

Of course, the USA doesn’t do emperors – that’s pretty much its reason for existing in the first place. However, in 1859 they got one. Joshua Norton returned to San Francisco after a self-imposed exile. He had been made bankrupt the previous year – famines in China had lead to a ban on rice exports, and while Norton had spotted a potential business opportunity, things went badly wrong, resulting in him being caught up in protracted litigation. It’s possible that the stress of this situation pushed him over the edge, because on his return he declared himself emperor, demanding that Congress be dissolved.

Now, obviously Congress didn’t dissolve, not even after the Emperor called upon the army to disband the government by force. It didn’t matter. Emperor Norton soon established himself as a beloved part of San Francisco life (by the way, don’t call it Frisco, he didn’t like the name Frisco), regularly seen in full dress uniform inspecting street cars. Although penniless, the city’s best restaurants let him eat for free, putting up plaques informing customers that they worked by order of the Emperor. He got the best seats in the house at theatre productions. He issued decrees that the streets should be cleared up and that residents should sponsor the airship experiments of Frederick Marriott (the man who coined the term ‘aeroplane’ and who was responsible for the US’s first unmanned aircraft). He pre-empted the Bay Bridge (when they extended the bridge in 2004, there was an unsuccessful campaign to name it after Norton) and when one of the Emperor’s dogs died, Mark Twain wrote its epitaph.

Everyone knew Norton was crazy, of course, but that didn’t matter; when a policeman tried to have him committed it led to a public outcry (“Emperor Norton has killed nobody, robbed nobody and despoiled no country, which is more than can be said of some fellows of his line”) – from then on all the police officers in San Francisco saluted the Emperor when he passed.

The mid-1800s wasn’t necessarily a barrel of laughs if you were Chinese-American – the usual story of immigrants being sought after as cheap labour, but facing racial discrimination as a result is an old, old story. So it’s worth remembering that, when an anti-Chinese riot broke out in San Francisco, Emperor Norton got between the riotters and their targets and simply recited the Lord’s Prayer until the mob dispersed.

In 1880, on a cold and rainy night, Norton I collapsed in the street and died, the first and only Emperor of the United States. His story is obscure, but he’s still remembered if you know where to look; there’s just something inspirational about the whole thing. Just one example – Neil Gaiman wrote about him in the comic book story ‘Three Septembers and a January’ (in issue 31 of The Sandman), in which a character comments that Norton’s “madness keeps him sane.” Something about that feels true.

So at the start of the year, when we’re all thinking about our hopes and dreams for the next twelve months, raise a glass to Emperor Norton and consider how even the strangest dreams can end up somehow beautiful. And then go and think about doing something crazy.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Historical Randomness #13: Zambia vs the Martians

Ahh, thank you Library Angel. I was only thinking yesterday that I haven’t written a Historical Randomness post for ages; this morning I update my iPod’s news feeds (because I don’t do anything as predictable as listen to music on my iPod) and there, on Discovery’s feed is the most historically random story I’ve come across in a long time. Because, ladies and gentlemen, Zambia was once about to launch a manned mission to Mars.

Well, when I say “Zambia”, I mean “a Zambian science teacher”, and when I say “about to”, I mean “was never going to”. It seems a bit churlish to point this out, because it’s such a cool story, but this isn’t a story about a great, lost technological advancement buried in the West’s ignorance of African history, this is the story of an enthusiastic amateur, two cats and a bunch of horny potential astronauts.

The background: in 1962, African nationalist parties won Rhodesia’s elections and voted for the secession of Northern Rhodesia; two years later, on 24 October 1964, the Republic of Zambia was born. Cue much celebration, but all this partying was, for one new Zambian, a distraction from the country’s real priority – Edward Makuka Nkoloso was going to get a spacecraft to Mars by 1965, dammit. Even Time magazine noted this ambition in their coverage of the independence celebrations.

This was the sixties, of course, and space was the new frontier – Stephen King has written of a childhood memory of how the adults around him freaked out at the news that Russia had launched Sputnik, and Wernher von Braun was now using the technology used by the Nazis to bomb London in the service of America’s own Saturn programme. In 1962, JFK delivered a speech at Rice Stadium, Texas, pledging to carry out a successful round trip to the Moon by the end of the decade. It was the start of the Space Race between the USA and the Soviet Union, but in Nkoloso’s mind they were also rans, trying to steal his own secrets of space travel for their own ends. After all, they just wanted to carry out small potatoes projects like getting to the Moon by 1970; he had the far more ambitious target of landing a crew on Mars by 1965 (he outlined his aims in this editorial).

Nkoloso was a school science teacher in a country where just 0.002% of the population had a degree. Establishing a secret HQ outside the capital Lusaka, Nkoloso’s space pioneers were 11 men, one 16-year old girl, a Christian missionary and two cats. Trained by swinging off ropes, rolling down hills in oil drums and walking on their hands (and yes, footage of this has made it to Youtube, albeit complete with slappable presenters), the project was derailled by the fact that the men were more interested in copping off with the girl, and things kinda fell apart when she left the project after getting pregnant.

Despite the space programme still being in its relative post-war infancy, the idea of getting to Mars wasn’t all that out-there. The aforementioned von Braun had become the chief populiser of space exploration and in 1952 he published The Mars Project, outling his ideas for a manned mission to the red planet. Remember, this is Mars we’re talking about, and the idea that it might be inhabited has long maintained a hold on the imagination, at least since Percival Lowell popularised the idea in the 1890s that Mars was covered in artificial canals (an extension of astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli’s view that the planet was covered in channels, as opposed to canals built by Martians – blame translation from the Italian). Science fiction also built on the idea that we could be invaded by our nearest astronomical neighbour – the variois tellings of The War of the Worlds is probably the best example of this.

Nkoloso went along with the life on Mars theory, believing it to be inhabited by a primative culture – hence the inclusion of a missionary in his crew, although they vowed not to force Christianity on the natives (it’s interesting to put this approach to First Contact in the context of a country that had only just emerged from colonial rule by Britain – the colonised looking to become the colonisers, maybe, whilst not making the mistakes of the past? It’s not like HG Wells didn’t draw a link between his Martian invasion and European imperialism).

At any rate, the Zambian space programme (which, I should add, wasn’t sanctioned by the government, unsurprisingly) never took off; UNESCO wasn’t keen to stump up the £7 million worth of funding Nkoloso requested from them (although it would have been a bargain compared to the Apollo programme’s $25.4 billion); they were more interested in setting up CERN (the organisation responsible for the World Wide Web and the Large Hadron Collider) and moving the Abu Simbel temple to prevent it from being flooded by the Nile). The project, such as it was, died a death and Nkoloso went on to become president of the Ndola Ex-Servicemen’s Association.

It would be easy to laugh at the whole thing, and it is faintly farcical (although it would make a fantastic film, and someone should look into it – Film Zambia?), but perhaps it’s an example of the potency of two Big Ideas – this article links it to the power space exploration has over the human imagination, and I think there’s definitely something in that, but I guess there’s also something attractive about the opportunity for the little guy, however deluded, to stand up to the big dogs, even in the shadow of colonialism and Cold War superpower posturing. After all, the US may be the only country to have sent someone to a neighbouring celestial body, but Nkoloso shows us we don’t have to believe they’re the only ones who can do it.

So when the first Zambian makes it into space, he or she should spare a thought for Edward Nkoloso and his visions of Mars. The universe is vaster than we make it, and there’s always room for bigger dreams.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.