Search Engine Disoptimisation for Beginners (No, I’m not a spambot)


Anyone who writes a blog is vaguely egocentric. Sorry but it’s true; we write this stuff hoping that someone reads it. Of course we do; that’s why we love the concepts of citizen journalism and user generated content and people getting over-emotional on Youtube.

So if I wasn’t a Methodist, and if I were a hard-drinkin’ gambling man with whiskey on my breath and a rattlesnake on my shoulder, I’d be willing to bet that most people blogging here check out their statistics and analytics on a daily basis. I know I do, but that might just be the insecurities of a man without a huge readership.

Anyway, I was checking out search terms that have sent people to my blog, and some of the results are, well, surprising. Some make perfect sense – people are interested in photos from Kapow Comic Con (a specific photo I don’t have, so anyone interested should go here), and I get a bit of traffic as the result of a tribute to Jon Pertwee I wrote. All this makes sense – after all, this is a fairly geeky blog when all is said and done.

However, it gets odder, although that probably says more about the blog than anything else. For instance, I can only assume I’ve achieved some sort of Search Engine Optimisation when it comes to the lyrics for ‘I am the Music Man’; that’s thanks to this post, which is understandable enough; I just can’t believe so many people want the lyrics to ‘I am the Music Man’. Has it been covered by Metallica or Johnny Cash or someone?

Actually, writing all that just makes me aware of how disappointing my blog must be – it never answers any of the questions put to it by Google. I feel a bit bad about that. That said, I like the idea that I can be inadvertantly educational – someone was looking for a definition of ‘yihkes’, which I assume was a typo for ‘yikes’ but which instead took them to a post on the ANARE Code. Wonder if that came as a surprise or not.

This is before we get on to the religious side of the blog. My favourite pieces of Christian writing here are my reflections on Easter, Good Friday and Christmas. Do they get the traffic? They do not. Instead I become a go-to blog for posts about the End of the World. Flattering? Well, yeah. Cheerful? Heck no!

But finally, my favourite search engine term that took someone to a post of mine is…

*Synthesized drumroll to build the tension*

“Hitler in 3D”

Bet someone was really disappointed…


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