Walk Like an Egyptian (it’s safer than getting a taxi)

I’ve been in Cairo on a business trip for the last few days, and while it’s not really appropriate to blog about work, I think it should be okay to post some random yet non-disclosing thoughts on the city…

1. The Traffic
I may actually be dead and just haven’t realised it yet. I’m not a particularly confident driver – heck, I’m not a particularly good driver – but I swear this is the first time I found myself holding my breath as we came this close to hitting another car and/or pedestrian. The whole thing may just be chaos, where drivers run on instinct and passengers run on adrenaline, or it may be a thing of beauty, an automotive ballet constantly on the verge of descending into carnage. I’m not sure which it is; I am sure it’s nail biting.

2. Papyrus
“Look guys, we’ve been stung once. We don’t want to buy a pile of papyrus pictures. Why not? Because apparently they’re fakes made out of banana leaves, that’s why. I already eat so many bananas that people think I’m going to OD on potassium, I don’t need any more. And no, this isn’t a Yorkshire accent!”

3. The Condition of Taxis
Seriously? I can see through your dashboard into your engine? That’s… SWEET ZOMBIE SANTA ON A POGO STICK, YOU’RE DRIVING ALL THE WAY IN REVERSE?!?!

4. Whatever Happened to the Watershed?
Predator is not normally the sort of film you can watch at 6pm, what with arms getting blown off and such and such, but watch it at 6pm I did. Get to da choppar!

5. Accent Recognition
Why did everyone seem to think I was from Brighton or Yorkshire? I can understand them guessing Manchester or London, but Brighton? And is there a significant Egyptian diaspora in Yorkshire? I’m curious now…

6. Unexpected Remakes Are Unexpected
There appears to be a German remake of Prison Break. Hope this time it doesn’t go on two seasons longer than it should…

7. Have a Break…
There’s a place in Cairo called Al Kit Kat. Call me immature but this made me laugh. I also feel guilty that this may be offensive…

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