I have encountered the worst thing in the world. I knew it existed, of course, Lovecraftian whispers throughout nerd culture, but I’d never seen it. Unaware of the true horror I rationalised it – it couldn’t possibly be as bad as the stories implied. Nothing could.
I’m referring to The Star Wars Holiday Special. Some evil genius figured that the best way to capitalise on the success of the original film (I refuse to call it A New Hope) would be to make a Christmas special. I’m not going into details – even providing a link is against a clause in the Geneva Convention – suffice to say that the whole thing is an epic fail of near biblical proportions, to the extent that you can see a piece of Harrison Ford’s soul die right there on screen.
I have no more to say on the subject. Consider this fair warning. I’m not responsible for the Wookies.
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