Rock Me, Dr. Zaius

Anyone who’s seen the sequels to The Matrix knows there’s a market for movies that are written in such a way that renders them incapable of being comprehended by human beings, so the next logical step is the development of films directed by monkeys. Step forward Capucine.

Capucine is a capuchin moneky who lives at Japan’s Research Centre for Animal Language, and she’s been directing her own movies. I know that seems like the plot of the newest Rob Schneider movie, but no, apparently it’s for real.

(Incidentally, is anyone else gutted that there was never a film, possibly a Jaws sequel, that starred Rob Schneider and Roy Scheider? Just me? Okay.)

Anyway, the above link to the Discovery Channel’s news report on this states that Capucine likes ET (fair enough) and King Kong. I don’t believe her, she’s just saying that to play up to the media. If a monkey’s started making her own movies then she’s not going to tolerate a film where a big giant ape is machine-gunned to death by puny humans as a result of its infatuation with Fay Wray. Oh no. If Capucine is gonna get ideas from anywhere, it’s from Planet of the Apes. Apes take over the world, humans get treated like animals (okay, so Dr. Zaius isn’t about to give Charlton Heston a video camera and ask him to make a movie but, hey, that’s monkey karma for you), and the Statue of Liberty gets blowed up real good (don’t ask me how it got off Ellis Island, a monkey wizard did it). I bet Capucine loves it.

It’s possible I’m over thinking this.

On the other hand, chimpanzees can ride Segways….


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