Writer’s Block: Step right up!

Maybe something with elephants. You get the right elephant, you can make a fortune, just keep it away from Thomas Edison. Edison wasn’t a nice guy, I much prefer Tesla.

I thought about being a tightrope walker, but as I’m totally uncoordinated (people still talk about how I once walked into a recycling bin), I’d probably die. Leave it to the professionals – Charles Blondin, for instance, the guy who tightroped across Niagara Falls carrying a spectator on his back. Apparently he also tightroped across Edgbaston Reservoir, which isn’t that far from where I live.

(Talking of historical megastars visiting my area, Buffalo Bill once brought his Wild West Show to Wolverhampton. Apparently while he was there he had some jewellery stolen; I’d be snarky, but it turned out to be an inside job – see halfway down this article.)

Couldn’t be a clown. They’ve got that whole Trickster thing going on.

One of the many talents I don’t possess, thanks mainly to the aforementioned lack of coordination, is that of juggling. A couple of friends can juggle and I have no idea how they do it. Apparently ancient Chinese jugglers used their skills to put an end to conflict. That’s awesome.

Ringmaster? Couldn’t pull off the hat.

Nah, I’d probably end up being the guy who shovels the tiger poop. Sure it’s a dirty, smelly job with no prospects, but hey… I couldn’t leave showbusiness!

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