I, for one, welcome our new Alpha Centaurean overlords

So I’m browsing the website of my local newspaper when it’s revealed that a UFO has been flying around the nearby shopping complex. This is a concern, as I’m not sure I like the idea of aliens invading Dudley. Sure, there are some cynical, disloyal folk that would suggest that we could use a Dalek invasion, but I’m not one of them – marauding extra-terrestrial invaders belong on TV, where they can be easily kept in check by David Tennant and Matt Smith (or David Hewlett and Jim Parsons if I’m allowed to be radical).

This isn’t the first time this has happened. There were the Rowley Regis mince pie aliens, continuing lunacy on Cannock Chase, and last year’s Dudley Dorito. Clearly the Black Country is being targetted by some bad flying saucer mojo, and therefore I need to look into investing in a tin foil hat. You know, to block alien transmissions and cosmic rays and stuff.

Alternatively it could just be a big fat fake, but hey, where’s the story in that?

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