Yarrr! It be Talk Like a Pirate Day, ya scurvy landlubbers! This year all true wolves of the sea shall be sending their dubloons and associated booty to Marie Curie Cancer Care, which be a good cause, tho’ they don’t have a boat. And if you be sailing the good ship Facebook, you should be switching yer language settings to ‘English Pirate’, because it be talking how pirates should be talking.
‘Tis a hard life, being a pirate. ’tis a time of recession, and me pieces of eight are getting shorter. I sailed to the American colonies to get me piercings done, and when I ask what it be costing, they said “A buck an ear!” Pirates be good at figures though – 3.141% of us are Pi Rates. It not be easy to cope with tasks like that, having no schooling. I tried to learn me alphabet, but spent years at C. Still, ’tis better than Bluebeard the Pirate, who fell into the Red Sea and got marooned. It got him interested in religion, and now he’s looking forward to Arrrrrrrrrmageddon.
But I need to be sailing off to the horizon now. I have a coconut flavoured chocolate bar beneath me hat – aye, I have a Bounty on me head.
(Please note, none of the above should be considered an endorsement of digital piracy, which as we all know funds terrorists, is the leading cause of climate change, and was directly responsible for the Napstaaaarrrrrrrrr Wars.)
(Serious link to Cory Doctorow’s alternative take on the digital piracy and copyright debate.)