It’s been one of those weeks, and by that I mean a “Holy moley, Superman’s real?!” sort of week.
See, it started fairly innocently, with the discovery of Kryptonite in a Siberian mine. Yes, Kryptonite. Stuff that can kill Superman. Okay, so this isn’t a glowing green radioactive rock, but it does match the chemical composition of Kryptonite (as revealed by Lex Luthor in Superman Returns). Well, 95% of it matches, and as anyone who’s seen Superman III will tell you, that extra little bit can easily be replaced by whatever chemicals are lying around.
(Just for the record, Superman III is a really short film – shonky Kryptonite makes Superman go evil, he splits into two, fights Clark Kent in a scrapyard, Clark Kent wins and changes into good Superman, the end. Anything else you may remember, such as the presence of Richard Pryor or the guy from The Magnificent Seven, is just a mass hallucination. Trust me.)
Anyway, this mineral from Siberia is actually white, and as any DC geek will tell you, white Kryptonite kills plantlife. So watch your daffodils. Also, it’s not going to be called Kryptonite, mainly because it’s got nothing to do with Krypton (the gas or the planet), and will instead be known as Jadarite, but we all know that’s a cunning ploy to keep Metallo out the way.
Anyway, this would normally be enough geekiness for one week, especially as Spider-Man 3 is out soon, but no, there was more. Scientists have found a distant, Earth-like planet. There may be water there. However, one of the main differences between this world and Earth is that it orbits a red sun.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Krypton, Superman’s homeworld, orbited a red sun. Even the BBC refer to it as a ‘super-Earth’.
All these years, I told you. No-one listened, except Grant Morrison. Okay, I can’t quite explain why it hasn’t blown up yet – well, I can, but the answer will be too geeky for words and I’ll never get a girlfriend if I publish it – but it’s there.
I, for one, welcome our new Kryptonian overlord.