In a move that completely failed to rock the international community, Switzerland has invaded Liechtenstein. There were concerns that this might upset the traditional Swiss position of neutrality, but it’s okay, the invasion was an accident.
“It was all so dark,” said one soldier.
There were also concerns that this might echo the last time a similar thing happened, when Switzerland had to pay compensation for accidentally setting fire to a forest, but it was alright thanks to Liechtenstein not realising it had been invaded until the Swiss told them. This isn’t the best story involving the military prowess of Liechtenstein, however; that honour belongs to the moment in 1866 when its army was sent to fight in the Anglo-Prussian war. They didn’t see much action and suffered no casualties, but instead recruited an Austrian guy on the way home. They therefore became one of the few armies to grow BIGGER as a result of going to war.
It’s a pity those guys weren’t in charge of the whole Iraq thing.
Meanwhile, I’ve uncovered some historical evidence that links a major TV figure to the Bible. Yes, in a move that radically changes everything I know about obscure Old Testament figures this week, I had stumbled across the following quote from 2 Samuel 23:20-21:
“Benaiah son of Jehoiada was a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, who performed great exploits. He struck down two of Moab’s best men. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion. And he struck down a huge Egyptian. Although the Egyptian had a spear in his hand, Benaiah went against him with a club. He snatched the spear from the Egyptian’s hand and killed him with his own spear.”
Ladies and gentleman, I give you the earliest known descendant of Jack Bauer.
(Yes, I admit it, I like obscure Bible stories that I’ve never come across before. Had to share this one…)