Well, it’s January 1st 2006. To be honest, at the moment, it’s pretty much like December 31st 2005 with added Heartbeat, but I guess I should show willing and sort out some resolutions. Thinking about it, that’s more essential than I initially thought.
Firstly, I want to learn a language. Now, I’m not great at languages. I speak English good, and I know a bit of Klingon, and that’s pretty lame in a multi-lingual, multi-cultural, globalised community. This was highlighted when I was in Madrid and it took me three days to successfully order a couple of beers and a Coke. I’m thinking of going for Spanish, because that’s the last foreign language I’ve had experience of ‘speaking’. Ola!
Secondly, I need to read more. Right now, a couple of people reading this are probably looking at it in disbelief and asking whether it’s possible for me to read any more than I do already, but it’s pretty evident that I’m killing too much time on the internet and not ploughing through two or three books a week like I used to. This has started to bug me, possibly because every morning I wake up and I’m confronted with a reading pile that is way out of control. I really need to get through that lot. Recommendations for further additions to the reading pile are, however, gratefully received.
Thirdly – get more sleep.
Next on the list is a really vague thing, and it’s perhaps more of a personality flaw than something that can be cleared up by making a spur of the moment decision simply because it’s the first day of the year. I’m a pessimist. The glass tends to be half-empty. The light at the end of the tunnel is a rampaging axe murderer with a torch. I don’t think this is the underlying problem, because when it matters I tend to be the ‘it-can’t-be-done-oh-let’s-do-it-anyway’ type, but for a long time the pessimism has been rubbing up against some other stuff, including the aforementioned lack of sleep, and a general air of Life Sucks seems to have settled. It doesn’t help that I’ve been listening to a couple of Mike Yaconelli talks online lately, because in some ways he’s the Bill Hicks of Christianity, and he quotes something along the lines of “50% of people die with the music still in them.” Tie that in with the BBC report I posted last week, and you’ve got a recipe for annoying Quarter-Life Crisis angst. I want to get over that, but at the same time I don’t want to get too settled. I want…I don’t know what I want, but something purposeful and meaningful and real. I have a bunch of issues that I need to straighten out, and I don’t know how, but they need dealing with. That’s priority number one, to be honest. I need you guys to kick me in the pants with regard to all this, because it’s important.
I want to be a better person in general. I want to mouth off less and listen more, and open doors for people and do the washing up and find out the name of the guy in Wolverhampton I buy the Big Issue from. I hate the thought that I’ve got a mountain of Superman comics and the only influence they’ve had on me is to heighten my appreciation of pictures of evil aliens being thrown through walls. I hate the thought that I’ve been doing the Jesus thing for years and it doesn’t seem to have changed me all that much, and the fault for that is at my end. Too much head knowledge, not enough heart; the brain gets smart but the soul gets dumb, to paraphrase that song. Needs sorting, dudes.
And the miscellaneous stuff; I’m totally down with ‘s hopes for 2006. And I need to tip more, ‘cos tipping’s a spiritual thing. And I need to respond to Urgent Action emails from Oxfam and other groups way quicker than I do. I want to see a part of the world I’ve never seen before, and I want to do something cool I’ve not done before.
So howdy 2006. Bring it on. I can take ya!