Of Course, In China They Just Call It Food…

This week’s comics:
Adventures of Superman 647 – Nice end to the whole Ruin thing
The Flash 229 – Pretty sure Wally’s going to quit for the sake of his kids
Green Lantern Recharge 3 – Poozers!
Justice 3 – Cool art by Alex Ross
JSA Classified 6 – Ocean’s Eleven with super-villains
Infinite Crisis 3 – Batman RULES

So, it’s becoming a bit of a Christmas tradition that Paul,  and myself go for a stonking great Chinese meal at the Imperial in Wolverhampton. I say it’s a tradition, we went last year and on Wednesday, so we’re not exactly talking a proper tradition yet, like Christmas trees, carol singing and Morris Dancing,  but hey, you’ve got to start somewhere.

Prior to the meal, we stopped off in the Royal London. It’s a nice place, and they played ‘The One and Only’ by Chesney Hawkes, which is one of those songs that everyone hated at the time, but hear it now and everyone joins in. Also, the guy sitting at the table opposite us was wearing a Superman t-shirt that I really really liked, so we beat him up in the car park and took it by force.

(Not really, but do you know how hard it is to find a black t-shirt with the yellow-and-red Superman logo on it round here? It’s like the Gotham City PD t-shirt I didn’t buy when I got the chance. I need to be more spontaneous. That’s going to be one of my New Year’s Resolutions, especially when it comes to geek chic t-shirts.)

Anyway, we went to the Imperial. They gave us free stuff (a little Santa badge with flashing lights and one of those razzer things), which was nice, and then they let us lose at the all you can eat buffet.

Now, I have a simple philosophy when it comes to this sort of thing – ‘All You Can Eat’ isn’t an offer, it’s a challenge. Have you seen the episode of the Simpsons where Homer sues a seafood restaurant because he ate everything? Homer is my champion in this sort of situation.

Or at least he was.

I don’t know what happened. First plate, fine – sweet and sour chicken, rice, beef, shredded duck, all sorts of good eatin’. Second plate – more of the same, still good. Third plate…

I admit it. I am no longer a real man. This plate was like the vengeance of some weird culinery monkey. It was like Woody Allen vs Chuck Norris. I blame the skewered chicken, that was the only variable. The skewered chicken took me down, man. I felt like I’d eaten Albania. I had to leave half a plate, which goes totally against the grain. I would have hidden it all in my pockets, but I wasn’t wearing my combats.

But that’s just me being an utter restaurant wuss. The food was GREAT. If you’re ever in Wolverhampton, go to the Imperial. It’s good eatin’.


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