Nice article over at Relevant magazine’s website on turning 30. Considering I’m only a month away from saying hello to the big three-oh, things like this ring bells.
Every so often, I go through periods of disaffection with life. Whether it’s work or faith or relationships or whatever, we all go through the same thing; problem is, it’s magnified when you reach border-ages. I want a wife and kids. I want a direction to my life. At the moment there’s no sign of any of that, and I don’t know how to fix it. There’s a line in a Babylon 5 book (yeah, I’m an Eng Lit graduate, I’m allowed to quote seminal works of genre fiction) – “We’re all on a mission from God, the trick is finding out what it is.”
Problem is, sometimes it feels like a kamikaze mission.
However, that’s a maudlin way of looking at life, and although that’s how I feel sometimes, I don’t think it’s some sort of absolute condition of existance. There’s a way out, another road. It’s just figuring out how to find it, which isn’t easy because it’s a whole bunch of elements – spiritual, yeah, and psychological, social, emotional. And so that’s going to mean figuring out how faith works when things are bleh, whether ‘work’ can become ‘vocation’ or if it just means taking a great big loony leap into the unknown, and trying to process just how to handle the whole ‘dying alone’ thing.
Boy, dontcha just love imminent birthdays?